Back to where I was a year ago.

This one’s gonna be short and sweet, since it’s dinner time, and I need it so badly.

Hmm, so today I did what I used to do a year ago when I posted something.

GET REVIEWED.

Although it’s nothing like I need someone’s approval for writing what I write, but you do need a review of whether you’re being obnoxious or overtly boring. I only got good responses, maybe because nobody does speak up the real opinion, or maybe it is true. I’ll believe the latter lol.

So, I was back to those online chat sites. There, I did meet a couple of good guys, you know the kind you want to date, that are like boyfriend goals(even if you’ll date a year later), and they did find me cool and stuff. Aha, I must be some kind of Goddess of coolness, I know. Lol. So, I spent some time talking to some people, and realized how much I missed meeting them, new people. It’s nice to get to know someone you don’t find on a regular basis, a different personality altogether. Not those people you’ve been seeing for ages xD. In the morning, I watched a series, when I should’ve studied because I have an exam tomorrow. But it’s like, if you’ve been studying very much for some days, it starts to finally get on your nerves. I’ll deal with some complex numbers though, they’re good 😛

The best part of the day was eating a chocolate pastry with some strawberry ice cream, it is simply heaven. Dad got it for me, thank God he got it today. If he would’ve bought tomorrow, there would have been no space in my stomach due to the butterflies 😛

Well, that’s it for today. Nothing special, actually nothing at all.

Don’t worry, will post a good article tomorrow on meeting strangers, a nice topic, right? Will cover all my experiences till now. And they’re many.

Stay tuned!

Might come out as too straightforward.

Well, since this is going to be a total me blog, me anonymous etc etc, and typically boring becauseeee…within a year, I’ll be starting a new blog, which would actually be some great experiences and yess, photos and etc, with my name signed at last instead of some strings lol, I’m gonna be as boring and unsocial as possible.

Sorry for that 😛

So, let’s begin. Today I’m super crazy happy, I don’t even know why. All good things have been happening since morning *touchwood*. I talked to my best friend, actually made fun of him since he’s short..the joke was “If short people smoke weed, do they get high or medium?” which reminded me of him and I started laughing real hard, after a reallllly long time. And he sent me that angry face..the one in red color xD Damn xD. Then although I’d decided to study and taken out my books, something else demanded my attention. Something special, super special. Guess? Fooooooooooood, obvio 😛 And Mom, too. lol. She bought a bag of chips for me, yaaaay. This reminds me of the sad part of today 😦 Mom went out of station, well, not to some other country, just some other state to visit her mom. That did make me super elated and everything, since she was going there after ages..And that made her excited, but still, there’s no doubt I’m gonna miss her. I never let her know that, becausee I constantly try to prove I’m independent af, and if I have to live alone some time later, I’ll be fine..but still, I think she knows it. It must be the phone calls…(a phone call every hour :P). I have to know whether she’s safe, and had food, fruits, proper seat etc. And I want to hear her voice to feel better. She’ll go buggers if she comes to know that I miss her so much. She does know that I love her very much, I guess that’s good enough.

Moving on, I had class…to be exact, of electrostatics. I loveee it. Physics is now trying to become my friend, I guess I’ll shake hands with it now. And our sir :O He’s sooooo amazing.(Yeah, it’s looks I’m talking about. Obviously he’s genius and everything :P). The class got over like an hour early, which is pretty cool. Yeah. But cool, only if you can go back home. My dad picks me up from my class, but since the class got over early, I was stuck. And in no way was I allowed to go back alone in the evening. I called dad, and got to know that he was still in his office. Oh, damn, damn. But a good thing happened. Apparently, my friend’s driver was about to take half an hour to come. Just perfect. So I offered, that we could go to the mall which was only 10 minutes away, but then she said that her driver was pathetic, so I gave up…And we went back inside the building in an empty class. So, I was like, I’ll study chemistry. But then, there was a platform waiting for meee. Yay. The class board. There’s some kind of magnetism working there, you know. It pulls you, and those board markers; just as if they’re waiting for you. Physics gotta provide some explanation there, because this is so not done. Okay, it is done xD So, I forgot all about chemistry. Pulled out some markers from the drawer and drew 3 concentric circles on the board. Wait, those weren’t your ordinary circles. Those were your spherical shells with some charges on the surface, and out of them, two were connected via a wire, and one was earthed. Also, I had to draw the Gaussian surface to see the charge distribution. Was all that a bouncer? Yeah, well, expected. Not everyone can crack that question…It’s different if you’ve been taught how to solve it only like 10 minutes earlier, which was my case 😛 Lol. So, as I was solving it, the hottie physics teacher entered and asked,”What are you doing? This is my place to stand and write, I believe”…Oooh. This statement might sound very uncool and vague, but in my native language, it sounded like an awesome statement.  Okay, whatever, so apparently, it wasn’t awesome..it was like he made fun of me. Ugh. But then I showed him that I was revising that question and he said he was proud of me, and I was a good student. There B-). Time came, and my dear friend had to leave. So, I called up my short friend, and he has just started studying so I didn’t want to disturb him. Then I called up a girl from my old school, she used to be a very close friend, and I missed her. So, we talked for a while, and my happiness increased. Lol. Then dad came, and we sung in the car..the songs that were playing on the radio. Aah, it felt good.

And I almost forgot to mention, I gave up my pride and self respect, and texted that third friend. Actually I came across a facebook post which was related to him, and was funny af, so I texted whether any of it was true..and he said “100/100 true”. Lol, that was it. The end of chat, but that also felt nice. So, right now, I’m at the epitome.

Oh, and my friend just called me. Gotta go 😉

 

A Year Long

A Year Long

A year long I was living this person, living as endsofastring.

I don’t know why I decided to let this blog be this way. Not that I’m proud of it, okay, I’m actually not, lol. My motive was to get in touch with me, and I failed it.

But I gained a lot of experiences, a lot many memories, that I’ll never forget. This blog was like the other side of me, and all through the year..I tried to just be one single person. A happy, carefree girl, the way my friends saw me. And what I discovered was, that no, I can’t be smiling always, that I can be sad, it’s a part of me. All this time, only 3 people got to really know me, my personality. Once I’d told them, I got scared. Scared that they would hurt me..in the worst way possible. I would be broken, if they left me, if they hurt me. I was right too. I got hurt, once, twice, thrice…ten times. And blaming these closest friends of mine, and myself for making the mistake of befriending them, I cut off everyone..and just kept the “fast friends”..the ones, for whom I was the coolest person alive with only happiness in life.

I broke these friendships, and in the process, I guess..I was in depression(oh, damn.). I stopped smiling as much(in school I was cool though :P)..I stopped eating, I couldn’t sleep etc etc. (This is all very recent). How did I cope up? I don’t know myself, I guess I just am not used to being sad all the time, so I just kind of cried some days, and then I was back to normal. When I was normal, once of those close friends came back to me(during my physics practical test)..and she said,”I don’t understand your fuck logics. The one friend who is your best friend..you leave her, and tell her to become a stranger. And the other friend, you should be leaving..you’re running after her friendship”. Oops. I tried to tell her what I’m scared of, and how I’d completely lost faith in friendship..but she didn’t understand. And I’m glad she didn’t, because after a while all was normal again.

What happened to the other 2 friends? I couldn’t just simply say bye to one of them..couldn’t cut him off, because he isn’t the heart-to-heart talk person..He knows me the best, but I fail to be sad around him. I just avoided his calls for a while, after which I was stalked on my whatsapp. Damn, caught 😛 So, while I tried to be morose and explain it to him, he made fun of me, made me laugh..and I let of of the pain when I talked to him. Things never went bad with him.

The third one. Oh, I’ve had a crush on him, twiceee. And I’d told him too. Lol. It waaas big deal for me, alright? 😛 But it was easy because it was all “online”. Aha. But..we just ended our friendship like a day ago. Very saddening. I already miss him, I hope he doesn’t see this though. I guess..because it was all online, I never understood him..while he did understand me. And really respected my feelings, and choices. But online friendship? And issues like..me always texting first(which obviously got to me)..and him not trying to stop me, I couldn’t take it. Besides, he was still a stranger. And I couldn’t endure the pain..of him leaving or not saying anything. So, there..I left him, before he could. But he was my favorite person. I hope he does good.

About the good things, I finally like a guy who..is like an angel. I even wrote poetry for him, but now..I’ve decided not to share. Not because it isn’t good, trust me it’s my favorite…it’s something that I’ve written for myself..and him. It’s only him. Next thing, I have an exam tomorrow that I’m definitely gonna screw up, but once in a while is okay, when the exam doesn’t create any difference in life, and I’m sure my sir will understand. After this, I have some brilliant friends, some I’ve left, some I have to..but I won’t. And lastly, the best thing was..some kind of transformation within me. Now I’ve really started to give shit about school. Lol. Although, nowadays..I’m online on whatsapp, becauseee I got sick, aargh, the summer, it’s just too much already, and thereby I have to study over the phone. 100 pages isn’t really a jokee xD I discovered, people find it cool when someone is online all the time and still manages to score well, there..task performed brilliantly. I just tell everyone, that I’m talking to a friend. Liar,liar pants on firee! XD

About the weather, it’s like almost 45 degree celsius alreadyyy. Can you imaginee? I should definitely do a post on “How to be cool this summer” Lol. Poor joke, I geddit.

Now that I’ve spoken all my shit, I feel better.

Thank you blog, for being there a year. I feel me. And that feels nice.

Lovee,

Always the same,

Me.

Tying the ends of a string.

P.S. A knot of dreams in head, trying to untangle, nah. Let me fulfill them all instead ❤